Log in

No account? Create an account
What are you doing?

> recent entries
> calendar
> friends
> profile
> previous 20 entries

Tuesday, October 16th, 2012
9:05 pm - woohoo!
Im getting married bitches! I will make it mine and i will not care what anyone thinks of it. Its my day bitches, and its gonna be a doozy!

current mood: excited

(1 comment | comment on this)

Thursday, September 1st, 2011
3:38 pm - Strange dreams, but even more nightmares...
I keep getting asked weird questions lately. I suppose it's nobody's fault. They just sound weird to me. They don't sit well with my psyche. i.e:
Q: "What did you do with the ring?"
A: "I gave it back to him." -explanation: I gave the ring back to Kevan because I thought that's what people did. I have since learned that if a man breaks off the engagement the woman has a right to keep the ring because it was his gift to her and his fault for ending it. So, a woman can keep the ring for compensation. I certainly don't want it anymore. It's not like I would ever be able to wear and not not consider it an engagement ring. I certainly don't need a physical reminder like that in my life.

Q: "Don't you ever talk to him or miss him?"
A "No I don't really ever talk to him, and sure sometimes I miss him that's natural" -explanation: I don't want to talk to Kevan right now. It's become apparent to me that he doesn't want to speak to me either. Which I think is quite alright for both of us. We have moved on. Yes I do miss the good times we had together. I miss his friendship certainly. But I'm not going to mope and mourn something that isn't there anymore. It's in the past and we both bear no ill will towards each other.

Lots of people ask why he proposed and didn't go through with it. I don't really have an answer to that one. However, I am grateful that we didn't get married. We weren't really in love at the end of it. And if it never ended, I would have never started dating Matt. I would have never moved back to Des Moines. I would have never grown like I have over the past 5 months.

A lot of people still don't know or don't know what happened. I guess that's because I didn't blow it up all over facebook. I didn't want to.

I think I have a lot more to be thankful for since it ended and a lot less to be angry or sad about.

(1 comment | comment on this)

Monday, July 11th, 2011
12:02 pm - 20 days and counting....
Matt and I are moving to Des Moines in 20 days and I couldn't be more excited. I'm not so excited about the logistical messiness that moving entails. Alas it must be done. Mark my words there will be grumbling though!

We got a house! I'm wicked pumped about that! It's a fixer upper but it's a effing house and I'm sure we will have fun fixing it up together.

My life has significantly changed over the past three months and I'm really happy about how it's progressing. My internship is going to be over soon. Another chapter closing. Definitely not going back to school anytime soon.

I'm transferring to the B and N in Des Moines but I'm not planning on staying there for very long. Matt transferred too, but his plan is the same. I'm going to still try and start my catering/baked goods business when I move even though Bre is no longer moving to DM.

Harry Potter 7.2 comes out this Friday!!!!!! Sorry I just had to add that. Let's face it this LJ used to be littered with Harry Potter musings and ramblings. So I'm just bringing it back.

Alright LJers, Peace out! I'll update again soonish.

(comment on this)

Thursday, June 2nd, 2011
12:35 pm - So say we all
Lots of change recently and yet never fear dear readers I remain the same goofball you've grown to love.

I'm moving back to Des Moines in 2 months. It's bittersweet. I know it's what I need to do. I know that it's where I want to start my adult life. I also know that living in my parents' basement for awhile is a grim yet necessary process. Furthermore, I have lived in Cedar Rapids for almost 2 years and I just recently started making friends. Good friends. It sucks that I have to leave them just when I found them. And last but very much not least is Matt. I really hate thinking about being away from him even though he says it won't be for long. I know we will be better for it.

I been thinking a lot lately about how people are tested. How some people are very lucky in life and they reach the milestones of normalcy without hitting too many speed bumps. Others not so much.

It's odd.

(comment on this)

Thursday, April 7th, 2011
11:52 pm - My life
So for the three of you that read this here is some recent developments in my life.

Kevan broke up with me a week ago. I begged and pleaded with him to stay with me. I told him we should take a week break and re-evaluate at the end of said week. He said he had made up his mind. His reason was that he had apparently focused on me for four years and wanted to focus on himself.

I went to Des Moines for the weekend after this happened to get away from everything. When I came back Kevan told me he had made the biggest mistake of his life and he wanted me back. I told him I would have to really really really think about it.

He sounded so over it one day and the next he wants me back? I can't go through what I went through again and if I went back to him there is no guarantee that he wouldnt pull this shit on me again.

I've been keeping myself busy. I've been going out with friends and geocaching. I've been doing things now that I couldn't before because Kevan didn't want to do those things.

I'm getting back into improv which is awesome!!! Men are asking me out on dates and I honestly want to go.

I've felt better in the past week than I have in a long time and if it was really meant to be with Kevan I wouldn't be feeling that way.

Life is good in a very unexpected way.

(1 comment | comment on this)

Tuesday, February 22nd, 2011
7:44 pm - Up in the Air
I'm going to be graduating on July 29th of this year.

My goal and Kevan's goal was to move to Des Moines once I'm finished with school.

Now that Terry Bransted back from the dead Zombie Governor has been re-elected our goal is up in the air. He put a freeze on hiring for state employees and that makes people reluctant to move or retire. So that makes less job openings for Kevan in Des Moines.

They say that you make plans and God laughs. I'm up in the air as to whether or not I believe in God, but someone is laughing at our plans. They always tell you to "Plan Ahead". What's the point if your plan's never seem to work out?

Our whole point in delaying our wedding was so that we could be in the same city we were going to wed in so that we could more easily plan it. Now we are stuck in a city which we do not want to start our lives and raise children in indefinitely.

You would think that since I had been raised in a household where my parents' job could change depending on who got elected(so every 4 or even 2 years) that I could easily adapt to this. You would be wrong. I've had several job offers from my parents' friends in the political world that I turned down because it all felt farsical to me. Fake. Wrong.

Now, my fiance is part of that world. But in my eyes a better sector. Still bureaucratic, but less so.

I'm so sick of this. I remain optimistic. But it's hard.

(1 comment | comment on this)

Thursday, January 20th, 2011
10:05 pm - Sup LJ Biatches???
You want a post, I'll give you a post.

Life is good right now.

I graduate in July. I'm pretty excited about being a pastry chef. I don't mean to toot my own horn, but I'm pretty good at making baked goods and decorating them.

My friend Breanna(whom I met through the Culinary Arts program) and I are going into a catering/wedding cake decorating business in Des Moines. We plan to start out small and test the waters of Des Moines. We've already catered a wedding together and we work together really well and everyone raved about the food we served. I'm excited about the venture even though it won't be my full-time job for awhile. I'm planning on becoming a health inspector till the bizz takes off/kids are in school full-time.

Wedding planning is sort of stalled. It's a year and 8 months away so I'm not vexing about it now. I found out I'm sooo not a girly-girl giddy tea party wedding planner type as if I didn't know that already.

I work at Barnes and Noble now as a barista and for the most part I really enjoy it.

Kevan is good. He works 3 jobs and seems very happy with that. We are both very busy and don't get to spend too much time together. But the time we do spend together is wonderful.

For my photography class I had to come up with a six word memoir to describe myself and then we have to take pictures to symbolize the memoir.
So I will leave you with it and you decide whether or not it's an accurate description of yours truly:

Funny Girl Seeks Meaning In Cupcakes.

(1 comment | comment on this)

Monday, September 29th, 2008
11:36 pm - CoCo
My rat CoCo has been having an increasing amount of seizures lately. They started about two weeks before Goblin so I don't believe having the cat around has been an impetus on her seizures. I know that neurological disorders are common for rats and even more common for hairless rats.

It is hard for me to watch her do this and harder still to watch her confusion afterward. She is a good pet, rat, friend. She is also one of the smartest rats I have ever come across(I'm trying to say that without bias).

I love her very much. I told her so. I also told her that if she needs to go it is ok with me.

I have not been feeling well lately in every sense a person can't feel well. I have to keep telling myself it will get better. I know that I have me. I don't even know why I'm writing this. I don't want pity.

Will you keep us in your thoughts?

(3 comments | comment on this)

Monday, September 22nd, 2008
4:44 pm - ugh
I cannot express enough how much I dislike the freecreditreport.com commercials.

(1 comment | comment on this)

Friday, September 19th, 2008
9:11 pm - Coffee Shop
F: Let's play coffee shop!
Me: Okay!
F: What do you want today?
Me: I would like a piece of that lovely pie you have in the window here.
F: Ok. I will put it in a cup so you can eat it better.
Me: Thank you!
F:(in a perfect imitation of my silly british accent) Thank you!
Me: Goodbye! Have a good day!
F:(again imitating perfectly) Goodbye! Have a good day! (lots of giggling from both parties).
F: What do you want today?
Me: I would like spaghetti and meatballs.
F: Ok. I will put it in a cup so you can eat it better.
Me: Thank you!
F: Thank you!
Me: Goodbye. Have a good day!
F: Goodbye. Have a good day! OK now you go behind here. (we switch places so that she is the customer at the coffee shop now)
Me: Hello! What would you like today?
F: Coffee!!!
Me: Ok I will put it in a cup so you can eat it better.
F: (howls of delight)
Me: (howls of delight)

Maybe you had to be there, but I haven't howled with delight for a long time. Thanks F.

(2 comments | comment on this)

Wednesday, February 13th, 2008
12:13 pm - Ann Coulter? Isnt she that foxy blonde who hates feminists?
I enjoy watching The Office.
Facebook annoys me often and yet I keep coming back.
I am dropping a class.
I am doing very well in my other classes.
Life is good.
The play I am in is stupid to me, but I still enjoy doing it.
I need to line up a summer job.
I also need to start waking up at a regular time.
I've decided Fetch! with Ruff Ruffman is a very good show for children(and Ren).

(1 comment | comment on this)

Tuesday, October 2nd, 2007
10:58 am - Grad School
I found out last night that I have been offered an assistantship with the women's and gender studies program here at UNI. With this assistantship my tuition would be payed for along with a stipend. I get to help out with violence prevention on campus as well as the other two state schools. This assistantship is part of the new grant that the state schools received largely based on results produced by the SAVE forum actors. It is a grant to maintain and install violence prevention programs on these three campuses.

So not only would I be working with a lot of people at UNI, I will also be working with a lot of great people on the other two campuses.

I'm fairly intimidated by the whole process of grad school. However, I know I shouldn't just turn down an opportunity like this.


(6 comments | comment on this)

Friday, September 21st, 2007
12:31 pm - It needs to Imulsify!!!!
The process of Co-Direction is very strange. I don't think I could work with any one else as well as I work with Hoose for this kind of thing.

The past few weeks I feel like I have grown tremendously. Chris and Hoose take me away from the normal every day hanging out activities and offer a new alternative.

Listening to Allen Ginsberg, watching Cut-Ups with William S. Burroughs, and procuring the plans to make a Dreammachine(yes it's real), even jamming out on Brazilian instruments with random people off the street.

But most of the time we just enjoy each others company. We laugh, cook, drink, and write poetry. I haven't felt like part of a group in a very long time. Probably since the House. I miss the House sometimes I think everyone who was a part of that does.

I feel like this play is going to be amazing. A lot of work and energy, but amazing. I hope many people come see it.

(comment on this)

Tuesday, July 10th, 2007
7:13 pm - I bet the tickets make the chocolate taste terrible...
How's it going LJ buddies?  Long time no see on my end of the relationship.

Well I have two jobs now.  I am a receptionist for the Hillary Clinton presidential campaign here in Des MOines(it blows) and I am an intern at Planned Parenthood as well.  At PP I am working on a grant project to fund condom distribution and education in urban areas of Des Moines.  After I graduate, I will have a job lined up for three-five years with PP.  I am ecstatic about that!  

It's weird being back in Des Moines.  It's more weird not really staying in any one place.  I am constantly living out of my laundry basket.  I work 68 hrs or more a week.  This sucks.  The only day I have off are Saturdays which are spent driving to and from assorted weddings and wedding activities(which also sucks).  I miss my friends from CF, but I think they are all doing well and that is a good thing.  

I am very anxious to graduate and get on with my life.  I feel like I actually know what I want to do know and opportunities are opening for me here in Des Moines.  I am ready to start a life here and I think it's a good place for me and maybe my future family.  

Part of me is ready for all this growing, adult, down to business business.  The other part wants to blow off growing up and party hardy 24/7.  I'm still negotiating between the two.  

Next semester I will be incredibly busy.  I think this is good and bad.  I am doing things that I want to do and I will get this whole college thing over with in one fell swoop.  

I am hoping to meet more people here in Des Moines.  More people=more connections=more fun=happier ren.  

Well that's about it so I will leave you all with this friendly reminder: Brunettes, not fighter jets!(courtesy of my new favorite folk parodist comedic duo from New Zealand, Flight of the Conchords)

PS I can't wait for HP VII!!!!

(1 comment | comment on this)

Friday, May 11th, 2007
1:29 am
this is jibberish and only I know what it means, but it's hilarious.

noandiohreworlfvna,mfnkhke3rwjenaksefjnnlfmnk. exclepapehfnvforuyourleoaudjfhahahhahahaha!!!!!

(1 comment | comment on this)

Thursday, April 12th, 2007
10:06 pm - To anyone who hasnt heard from me in the past few weeks....

I fell off the face of the earth for awhile. It was spinning much too fast for me.

I'm still winning this game called life. If the definition of "winning" is still alive.

Dear god I'm sorry to those I have dissapointed.

Everyone has to got to hit rock bottom, and boy am I ever there.

Sometimes you have to lose yourself to find yourself again.

Keep right on truckin party people, I'll be right behind you.

current mood: numb

(comment on this)

Thursday, March 15th, 2007
12:49 am - Bajahumbug....
California weather is awesome! I now have lots of San Diego stories to tell. I'm going to Mexico this weekend and I've been up since 4:40 am. Awesome. Here's an alliteration for all to enjoy: Barn-Busten', Boisterous, Beligerant, Bum.... that's all you need to know.

SHeryl Crow believes in stem cell research. Just ask the senator from Vinton....

Snow Crab is delicious.

Hotel Desk Managers in San Diego rule. yay.....

I want pie.

Good pie.

(1 comment | comment on this)

Saturday, January 6th, 2007
3:18 pm - fight the battle of who could care less...
I got bored last night(isnt this how the best stories start out?). So I went for a walk after I watched a bit of Sin City. I walked for about half a mile and just thought about a lot of things I hadnt thought about in awhile.

I ended up in front of Glendale Cemetary. Normally, cemetaries scare the shit out of me. But at this point of my evening, I wasn't scared I was curious. I decided to go in. It wasn't hard, all I had to do was walk over this little chain thing made to block out cars. I knew I would probably get in trouble for trespassing if I got caught, that didnt matter to me.

I've failed to mention that I have gone into this cemetary before during after hours. I chickened out that time. I wasnt doing that this time. I went in. I walked all over. I pondered these peoples previous lives. I wondered how they died. I wondered how I would die. I wondered why I was there. It felt right. I wasnt scared.

I made my way to the pond in the middle of the cemetary. I quacked at the ducks. I saw a couple of people(alive) making out(weird) but they didnt see me. I saw the caretaker driving around, he didnt see me either. It was almost like I too was a ghost(ooo and if you want a good ghost story be sure to ask me). I fit in with the surroundings.

Sorry if you think I'm morbid or weird. I had a good time in the cemetary. I felt peaceful. I felt not so alone. We all die. We all live. This is what makes us not so alone.

(4 comments | comment on this)

Monday, December 18th, 2006
12:26 am - Puke
I'm definately sick. It definately sucks. I haven't puked since like freshman year. Kansas City was nice, before the puking. I have the best brother in the whole world.

I absolutely love this program on PBS called NOVA. Check it out if you can, it will blow your mind.

Hope to be back in CF tommorrow. If the puking subsides.

current mood: sick

(3 comments | comment on this)

Wednesday, November 29th, 2006
1:57 pm - I finally found it....
I have a stowaway mouse living in my room. At night, I can hear it eating. I have been looking for its nest lately. I found it in the wall of my closet. I didnt have anything to plug up the little nest so I used the end of my japanese faux umbrella from Epcot. I plan on getting a trap(humane) trap soon and getting it the hell out of my room!

I've decided to stop giving people the power to make me feel unhappy. It was driving me crazy. I'm sure I will slip up a lot. But at least I can recognize it now and I will be sure to leave the situation if I do slip up.

I had a much needed "girls night out" last night. I felt like I could vent without worry or fear(of course that could have been the alcohol).

Last week when I went home I had to visit the eye doctor. Apparently I have an astigmatism. Shitty. New glasses for Ren! Pics to come soon.

(5 comments | comment on this)

> previous 20 entries
> top of page